Thursday, October 05, 2006
Edited*
Have you ever liked someone so much and thought you shared alot in common with them, that your heart breaks when they become a completely different person?
Well, I have.
And despite my broken heart, my spirit will never be broken.
So, as of today..I've decided to sever all ties with this person and instead enrich my life further, without her in it.
All this while, I was upset because not only did I want her, I wanted her to want me.
But now, even I don't want her..and I mean that, because I have never before met anyone as false and pretencious like her.
She is not only a backstabber, but a liar too. She claims she hates someone, but is best friends with that person on the sly, thinking I'll never find out.
She claims to care but does absolutely nothing to prove it.
She pretended to be my soulmate, my friend, but in fact..just made use of me and my sincerity.
To think that for 3 whole years, I had let my guard down on her, confiding in her about everything, thinking she was the perfect friend and wouldn't ever judge me nor forget me.
Each time there was a misunderstanding, I had to be the first to apologise. And I didn't mind doing it, because she meant that much to me. Now, she's long forgotten my existence, and seems blissful with this other person, who by the way, she used to hate the guts of.
So, now I'm wondering..what exactly is this new person offering her that I didn't?
Aaaaah yes, I know now. She must be feeding her with lies and pretence, something I would have never given her. No wonder, she feels at home with this new person.
It amazes me how people can be so heartless. It's sad because I liked her as I thought she had character. I also thought no one could be more genuine and real than her. But now, I think otherwise. She has the lowest self esteem and lowest level of appreciation for others.
She does not even have a soul, if you ask me..because anyone who does, would not do the things she is doing.
I am terribly disgusted with her and myself for even believing her and trusting her.
I can't accept it that I couldn't actually see through her from the beginning. It pains me to realise that what I believed in before, is no longer a tiny bit true.
I honestly do feel like sticking sharp needles in her body, just to see if it would even hurt, just to see if she would actually bleed.
I also feel like vomitting each time I think of her.
But I also understand that any emotion on my part is completely useless for someone as worthless as her.
Therefore, I'm done moping around feeling dejected.
So, everyone say a HUGE congrats to me..for picking myself up & understanding that my life is worth so much more than any part of her.
From now on, I will focus on elevating and fulfilling my life, without even a semblance of her in it.
Amen.
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