Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I wish I was a man.
Yes I do.
Otherwise, life is pretty normal...NO, its boring like hell. Who said bumming is fun? It isn't...yes, get me back to work and I'll start bitching that work sucks and instead, yearn to slack.
Well, it is only my wish to be a man. However, I am a woman..I HAVE to be fickle, bitchy, noisy and complain incessantly...right? Yes, I have been told by the boy. I say, what does he know?! Bah.
Anyhooooo...as I was telling my shining star, The prisses...(as I have decided to call her as of now)...that, I wake each morning feeling like I'm in a time warp.
Each day, its the same thing..I get out of bed, proceed to plonk myself on the couch, turn on the TV to watch some mindless, housewife-y daytime programmes and then look around my empty house and wonder why my life seems quiet and strangely serene.
This. is. Singapore. It is almost a crime to feel that your life is quiet..because that just means one thing: You are not in the running of a rat race. *gasp*
How can that be? That automatically labels you a non Singaporean, a non go-getter, a quitter?..Hell, maybe even a.....Malaysian?
Who knows?
Anyway, interestingly, there are variations to what my bumming means. The prisses is calling it a holiday..the boy is calling it a break.. my mum's calling it an opportunity to rediscover myself..and my brother's just calling me a pig.
Yes.
Anyhoo, we'll see how what comes along.....
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I have returned. Yes, I know its high time too.
In 1.5 days, my life will change. The usual, mundane rigour of my daily life will take a turn. For the better or worse? Only HE shall decide.
However, I must say I do feel a sense of joy, maybe liberation that I have left this hole. This blackhole.
With no direction and no one to turn to, I was trapped in the hole for at least 4 months, and that is only since I realised it.
Pretence. The sure-fire, instant, unredeemable way to tick me off.
Favouritism/Bias: The number 2 method to achieve the above mentioned result.
Both was evident where I was.
Never think someone you know or who has helped you before would do the same again.
Never think that someone who understands your plight will be your pillar of strength.
Never think that ANYONE is obliged to help you or stand by you.
And, remember..blood is thicker than water. I learnt this the hard way.
Everyone I know is happier than me at the news. Why then do I feel confused, infuriated and dejected? I will get over this, I truly believe.
See, I do not relish in sitting in a corner to bitch about people or whine about how the world is unfair. However, I really do believe that people are just plain weird.
Why is it that people are so blind and misjudge others and then just refuse to repent even when they find out they have made a mistake?
What is the base of an ego? How is an ego formed? What is pride, or 'face' as we better know it.
Why can't people accept it when someone corrects them?
Ok, maybe I should stop asking whys, since I am never going to get an answer anyway.
ANYHOW, it is time to move on..& move on I will.
Feeling dejected and moping around isn't me & I won't do it to satisfy anyone.
SO THERE.
max width 299px.
