Life beckons.
Friday, January 25, 2008
「 5:52 PM 」


For a country as developed and 'high end' as Singapore, you would think the people know how to behave. Just a speck of normalness/etiquette will do..but no..Singaporeans will be ugly and there's no turning back.

I should write a book on my adventures in the train. I should title it 'The MRT Saga: Observations from the minority'. Hey, I am darn sure my book will sell okay. Just in case I really intend to write a book on this, I shall offer only a preview to you.

Ten MOST common things Singaporeans do in the MRT:

10. Placing their entire body on the metal grill bar, refusing anyone else to hold on for their dear lives.

9. Absolutely REFUSING to move in an inch further away from the door.

8. Flicking their hair non stop like they're in a Pantene shampoo advertisement.

7. DELIBERATELY jabbing you with their handbags, laptop bags, umbrella..{insert random object}

6. Whispering sweet nothings, caressing, licking, fondling, kissing their partner, right smack at the door.

5. Letting children occupy up to 4 seats to sleep.

4. Staring at people around them until they arrive at their stop. Yes, STARING.

3. Insisting on reading their newspapers/storybooks/work documents etc despite not having any breathing space in the train.

2. Shoving. Pushing, shoving, scratching, rubbing, brushing past. All these are Singaporeans' preferred actions. Know what's the best part? They do it for nothing. All it takes is a polite, 'Excuse me'. But no, the above mentioned actions are more fun you see.

1. PRETENDING. Pretending like they don't see the elderly person getting in the train. Pretending not to know they should move in further into the car. Pretending to sleep. Pretending like they don't know they're jabbing/irritating you to no end. Pretending to move in, but instead just shuffling their feet on the spot, making you believe you suddenly have more space for yourself. Truth is: The fella hasn't moved one inch.

There you go. My revelations. Oh, I do hope you enjoy your next MRT ride.

Meanwhile, you can start placing your orders for my book......